This week's boulevard press dissects the mystery of what can have impelled Prince Ferfried ("Foffi") von Hohenzollern to shave off his moustache. Motives put forward include the Prince's wish to disguise himself, to look 10 year younger, to signal a new phase of his life, to facilitate the drinking of soup - and last but not least, to keep his mistress happy.
The blog communes with the Prince's fragrant mistress, "Sweety".
It is true, she confesses shyly, that the grating of Foffi's rough, bristled upper lip did rather irritate her cheeks' peach-blossom skin. But that isn't the whole story by any means. The Prince, it appears, has become a passionate adherent of the blog's campaign to stop the European Union from selling its arms to China. He wastes no opportunity to publicise his new-found beliefs.
"The moustache had to go," a close friend explains. "Foffi wished to signal to the world that if a noble prince of his ilk can put a stop to a habit that makes him look foolish, the lickspittles of the European Union should follow his example and abandon their idiotic plans to sell arms to China."
The blog will be watching developments with close, slightly uneasy interest. First Richard Gere, now Prince Ferfreid von Hohenzollern. This veritable cascade of high-profile support makes us nervous.
This blog has been a consistent supporter of Foffi and Sweety:
-In January, we wrote a heart-warming piece on how "The Prince and the Widow" were true role-models for our times.
-In February, we revealed that Foffi and Sweety would after all be attending the Vienna Opera Ball and urged the people of Vienna to kneel in homage to the royal pair. Precious little kneeling was done in that quarter in the event, and the burghers of Vienna may yet come to regret their act of lèse-majesté, which has not gone unnoticed in Esens.
- In February again, we described Foffi and Sweety's anguish at seeing Foffi's British cousin, the Prince of Wales, facing so many difficulties in legitimising his relation with his mistress, Camilla Parker-Bowles.