Thursday, July 07, 2005

Haggis for Breakfast, Heartburn for Chirac

There was porridge and haggis on the menu for breakfast this morning in Gleneagles.

President Chirac of France - who's just lost out to London on the 2012 Olympics, whose beloved Common Agricultural Policy is about to be dismantled by President Blair, and whose voters contemptuously rejected the EU constitution he so passionately advocated - will be feeling gobsmacked by failure.

Still, he's in a good place to wallow in it. He should ask for a generous tot of whisky in his breakfast porridge, that'll soon put the hairs back on his chest. In fact, the most dignified thing Chirac could do at this stage is to sink into the befuddling embrace of alcoholism, surrendering his cares to its all-forgiving, all-forgetting stupour. We're sure his fellow world leaders at the G8 meeting, Sir Bob Geldof and Bono, can deal him some handy tips on chemically-induced oblivion. Chirac has had a decent enough run for his money, and fooled most of the people some of the time, but now it's really time to consign his dismal career to the dustbin of history. Salut, Jacques!


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